So after I put my little man down, I finally come up for air and so look forward to those few precious hours that are all mine. A time when I can get things done-uninterrupted-relax, take a breath and catch up on my day. The problem is I am often so tired by this time of night that although I want to be more productive and work on my new business ventures or read another chapter in 'A New Earth', I often don't have the motivation or energy to do anything but plop in front of the TV and unwind with some reality escapsim. How many of you relate to this?
Some nights I am on fire and get a million things done and feel like I can conquer the world, and other nights I am zapped. And on those turbo nights, I often go to bed way too late, end up super tired the next day and probably am not the most productive mom, wife or business woman. I need to strike a better balance between my daytime and nighttime activities, prioritize tasks and make sure the more cerebral stuff gets done earlier and the busy work later.
I want to make sure I spend more quality time doing the things that feed my soul, and less time wasted on things without substance.
Sweet Dreams,
Romy
Goddess of the Night
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Momma's in her Groove
Today, I am feeling super productive because I had several to do's on my list (predominately business tasks) and I am breezing right through them. I feel motivated and super charged, and I must admit I really love this feeling of accomplishment. So you ask, Romy, how is today different than most other days where you feel overwhelmed and behind before you even get started? Well, I went into this day feeling like I have ALL the time in the world, that I can get it all done with time to spare, and low and behold I did! I am pretty well versed about the Laws of Attraction and every time I put it to the test, it really works. I can see that it is my intention about things that impacts the outcome. I can see that you really have the power to mold your life and shape change, you just have to put your mind on the right track.
I know this sounds too simple, but it really works. And I don't know about you, but when I feel productive I am much happier and get even more done. I am definitely in my groove today (even with less than opitmal sleep) and I even have a work project tonight too, so by the time this is done Iw ill feel like a powerhouse. But, how do you employ this philosophy on those overwhelming days, the days when no matter how many hours there are and no matter how super human you think you are, there is no way you can get it all done. And you feel crappy and unmotivated and often give up. What do you do when you are in the thick of errands, business, mommy to do's, social commitments etc.? I am suggesting that you continually tell yourself that you DO have all the time in the world, as much time as you need to get it all done and pay attention to any shifts, see how/if you attract more time to yourself. I am also suggesting writing a MANAGEABLE to do list, with a reasonable amount of tasks to accomplish in a day, so you don't start out feeling behind before you even get started. Basically, I am saying lighten up on yourself, take a breath and appreciate whatever you get done, no matter how much or how little.
Until the next time,
Romy
Goddess in the Groove
I know this sounds too simple, but it really works. And I don't know about you, but when I feel productive I am much happier and get even more done. I am definitely in my groove today (even with less than opitmal sleep) and I even have a work project tonight too, so by the time this is done Iw ill feel like a powerhouse. But, how do you employ this philosophy on those overwhelming days, the days when no matter how many hours there are and no matter how super human you think you are, there is no way you can get it all done. And you feel crappy and unmotivated and often give up. What do you do when you are in the thick of errands, business, mommy to do's, social commitments etc.? I am suggesting that you continually tell yourself that you DO have all the time in the world, as much time as you need to get it all done and pay attention to any shifts, see how/if you attract more time to yourself. I am also suggesting writing a MANAGEABLE to do list, with a reasonable amount of tasks to accomplish in a day, so you don't start out feeling behind before you even get started. Basically, I am saying lighten up on yourself, take a breath and appreciate whatever you get done, no matter how much or how little.
Until the next time,
Romy
Goddess in the Groove
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
Do you long for your pre-mommy days? The time when you were footloose and fancy free--the late nights out with the girls and no early AM wake up calls? I certainly do! I mourn for the the loss of my freedom and accountability only to myself, the times when I did whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to and had no one to count on me to play or make breakfast. Now don't get me wrong, I love my life and how connected and filled up my life is with a wonderful hubby and a great kid, but sometimes a girl just wants a little fun.
Well, earlier this week I had the opportunity to have a little unrestricted girl time--a real ladies night out--all dressed in black, out in a real city at happy hour time, signature cocktail in hand, and I must say it was a blast. All the girls looked smokin' hot (who would know that many of us were mom's in our 40's), the venue was spectacular with giant views of the city and then the real fun happened later in the evening when all of us broads torn up the dance floor. It was wonderful to see these beautiful women let their hair down and party like we did in our college days. We danced, we bumped, freaked and just let go--it was awesome! We were playful, free and inspired. And then the fun ensued with a night cap at the hotel bar and we even got hit on! And let's not forget the slumber party in the hotel room staying up until 3AM, giggling, sharing and reacapping the night. What a treat it was to sleep in until almost 9AM the next morning!
It has been a long time since I had a night like this and I highly recommend it. It allows you to feel free, sexy, and youthful and takes you out of the normal routine of mommy life. It reminds you of the fun you had in your youth, that you've still got it goin' on girlfriend, and that your life is in a different phase now and you have much to be grateful for. It helped me get in touch with a more dormant side of myself, let it out for a while and perhaps to remind me that my playful (hot mama) side is there whenever I need it.
Cheers Girlfriend,
Romy
Queen of the Cosmo
Well, earlier this week I had the opportunity to have a little unrestricted girl time--a real ladies night out--all dressed in black, out in a real city at happy hour time, signature cocktail in hand, and I must say it was a blast. All the girls looked smokin' hot (who would know that many of us were mom's in our 40's), the venue was spectacular with giant views of the city and then the real fun happened later in the evening when all of us broads torn up the dance floor. It was wonderful to see these beautiful women let their hair down and party like we did in our college days. We danced, we bumped, freaked and just let go--it was awesome! We were playful, free and inspired. And then the fun ensued with a night cap at the hotel bar and we even got hit on! And let's not forget the slumber party in the hotel room staying up until 3AM, giggling, sharing and reacapping the night. What a treat it was to sleep in until almost 9AM the next morning!
It has been a long time since I had a night like this and I highly recommend it. It allows you to feel free, sexy, and youthful and takes you out of the normal routine of mommy life. It reminds you of the fun you had in your youth, that you've still got it goin' on girlfriend, and that your life is in a different phase now and you have much to be grateful for. It helped me get in touch with a more dormant side of myself, let it out for a while and perhaps to remind me that my playful (hot mama) side is there whenever I need it.
Cheers Girlfriend,
Romy
Queen of the Cosmo
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Mommy's feeling Pissy today
Have you ever just been in an irritable mood just because (and not because Aunt Flo is visiting)? The kind of mood where everything and everyone annoys you? The kind of mood you just can't shake and you just feel unmotivated to get things done that day. Well that's how I feel today, sluggish, cranky and unmotivated. Maybe its due to the 100+ degrees heat outside, or maybe its because I had an intense therapy session last night that stirred up alot of stuff, or maybe its because my once thriving consulting business has taken a dramatic downturn and I am in the process of reinventing myself and it is moving very s-l-o-w-l-y. Who knows? But what I do know is that I've got so many things I want to get done and I am getting in my own way! And my happy-go-lucky 4 year old doesn't get it either, he wants to play and hug and kiss mom without restrictions, and fortunately he is spending most of the morning with Dad so I have my space to myself to ponder my stuckness and yuckiness.
How do you shift gears when you are in a mood like this? What tools do you use to snap out of it and get on with daily life? Or do you just sit with it for a while, absorb, understand and process the feelings so you can move through it and understand where the blockage came from and be more prepared to handle it the next time it rears its ugly head. I have alot of tools in my repitore but at this moment they fail me, at this moment I just want to sit in this sludge and ruminate, and you know that's OK. I know this is just a moment in time where I need to sit with my defiant inner child, chat with her, tell her it is OK to be Pissy and that I support and love her unconditionally. And from this dialogue, I can learn about myself and my wounds, I can grow and move forward through the wonderfully challenging, adventurous and interesting maze of my life.
See you real soon,
Romy, A Goddess AKA Miss Pissy
How do you shift gears when you are in a mood like this? What tools do you use to snap out of it and get on with daily life? Or do you just sit with it for a while, absorb, understand and process the feelings so you can move through it and understand where the blockage came from and be more prepared to handle it the next time it rears its ugly head. I have alot of tools in my repitore but at this moment they fail me, at this moment I just want to sit in this sludge and ruminate, and you know that's OK. I know this is just a moment in time where I need to sit with my defiant inner child, chat with her, tell her it is OK to be Pissy and that I support and love her unconditionally. And from this dialogue, I can learn about myself and my wounds, I can grow and move forward through the wonderfully challenging, adventurous and interesting maze of my life.
See you real soon,
Romy, A Goddess AKA Miss Pissy
Monday, June 30, 2008
Mountain Moma
Yes, admittedly it has been a couple of weeks since my last post because I was on vacation up in the Sierra Nevadas, and now I am hooked. I don't consider myself a rustic moutain girl, I am more of a full-service-beach hotel kind of gal and have never even considered taking a respite above sea level, but this past week a close friend invited several families to her house up in Mammoth and I am a changed woman. The natural beauty I saw just blew my mind and each spot on natures playground was more beautiful that the next. I got lost in just 'being' there and it was easy to just be present when surrounded by lush green trees, skies of blue and pristine rushing water.
So I ask myself (and you), how might I re-create this ability to focus and stay present when immersed in the clutter, chaos, stress and busy-ness of daily life? How do I recapture that feeling of wonder as I was walking through the swampy meadow in Yosemite, through the lush green forest, crossing paths with deer, over the rocks and gasping when I saw the nirvana of the blue green rapid falls set against the white slate rock??? This visual spectacle has created an indelible impression in my mind that I can certainly conjure up when I need to focus and get to my 'happy place', but what other tools can we all use to remind ourselves to be present and not miss the moments? How can we make sure to notice things that are not 'framed' for us? How do I make sure to listen to the joy in my son's voice when he picks his first tomato from our vine in the backyard or miss his enthusiasm over the new baseball bases Daddy has just bought and he wants to run around on?
I think my heightened awareness is a start in the right direction and feel that getting out of my usual environment (and for me a dramatically different one) has helped me truly notice what I have been missing/forgetting to notice and reminded me to stay present whether I am immersed in obvious beauty or simply living through the beautiful moments of everyday life.
I'd love to hear some of your tips for staying present, please post your comments on this blog.
Until next week,
Romy
Goddess and Friend of Smokey the Bear and Bambi too
So I ask myself (and you), how might I re-create this ability to focus and stay present when immersed in the clutter, chaos, stress and busy-ness of daily life? How do I recapture that feeling of wonder as I was walking through the swampy meadow in Yosemite, through the lush green forest, crossing paths with deer, over the rocks and gasping when I saw the nirvana of the blue green rapid falls set against the white slate rock??? This visual spectacle has created an indelible impression in my mind that I can certainly conjure up when I need to focus and get to my 'happy place', but what other tools can we all use to remind ourselves to be present and not miss the moments? How can we make sure to notice things that are not 'framed' for us? How do I make sure to listen to the joy in my son's voice when he picks his first tomato from our vine in the backyard or miss his enthusiasm over the new baseball bases Daddy has just bought and he wants to run around on?
I think my heightened awareness is a start in the right direction and feel that getting out of my usual environment (and for me a dramatically different one) has helped me truly notice what I have been missing/forgetting to notice and reminded me to stay present whether I am immersed in obvious beauty or simply living through the beautiful moments of everyday life.
I'd love to hear some of your tips for staying present, please post your comments on this blog.
Until next week,
Romy
Goddess and Friend of Smokey the Bear and Bambi too
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Mommy doesn't wanna get out of bed yet
Does this ring a bell to any of you?? I am so tired from staying up way too late the night before, and my bright-eyed and bushy tailed, singing 4 year old boy is fully awake and alive and he wants mommy out of bed NOW to play and match his level of enthusiasm and "I don't wanna!!" This is such a struggle for me from time to time, being 40 and never having been a morning person, I find it difficult to pop up and be fully engaged at 7ish in the morning, yet this is part of the mommy package I signed up for. And again this morning (again after not enough sleep), Mr. Perky (not the hubby, the kid :-) is hungry because he is eyeing the pumpkin chocolate chip bread I made the night before and how can a girl go back to sleep when her child is hungry?? So I get up, and slowly enter this alert world of a four year old and eventually I come alive (don't do caffeine either btw).
While I truly treasure the passion and enthusiasm of my son, how do I reconcile my morning resistence with his AM insistance?? Going to bed earlier is an obvious shift, but beyond that I think there needs to be an internal shift in my mind that says, "Mornings are great and you have the pleasure of your son's joyous company" or like one of my wise Goddess friends suggested, don't pop out of bed in the AM, instead spend a few extra moments in bed visualizing your day and how you want it to play out or meditate briefly so you start your day calm and centered. And I have tried this now and again and it does help--maybe I need to commit to this process of having a few moments of transition every morning before I burst into the day and this might be just the shift I (many of us) am looking for.
But truth be told, I am forever a nightowl and still love my late nights and sleep late mornings every now and again :-)
Until next time,
Romy, Goddess of Trying to Ease Into and Embrace her Mornings
While I truly treasure the passion and enthusiasm of my son, how do I reconcile my morning resistence with his AM insistance?? Going to bed earlier is an obvious shift, but beyond that I think there needs to be an internal shift in my mind that says, "Mornings are great and you have the pleasure of your son's joyous company" or like one of my wise Goddess friends suggested, don't pop out of bed in the AM, instead spend a few extra moments in bed visualizing your day and how you want it to play out or meditate briefly so you start your day calm and centered. And I have tried this now and again and it does help--maybe I need to commit to this process of having a few moments of transition every morning before I burst into the day and this might be just the shift I (many of us) am looking for.
But truth be told, I am forever a nightowl and still love my late nights and sleep late mornings every now and again :-)
Until next time,
Romy, Goddess of Trying to Ease Into and Embrace her Mornings
Monday, June 9, 2008
Moma's Got a 'Mind Virus'
OK, OK before you worry, I am not sick--I am a happy and healthy 40 year old woman. But admittedly, I have been remiss on posting this blog predominately because I have so many 'To Do's' lately and not anywhere near enough hours to do it all (or so I think!). And then I got this thought provoking e-mail from a business service I subscribe to that brought up this concept of a 'mind virus' and I just loved it, it resonated with me. Basically, a 'mind virus' is a thought or programmed message that you constantly heard while you were growing up like 'money doesn't grow on trees', and you heard it often enough that this idea became embedded in your mind and now you just can't get rid of it. This repetitive thought has 'infected' your mind and holds you back from doing everything you want to do, it makes you think that it is real because it has been around for so long that it has just become part of your belief system. For example, someone who really believes that money doesn't grow on trees probably has some issues surrounding money or never having enough of it, and these embedded thoughts hold them back. This conceptualization makes so much sense to me.
For me, as happy and full my life feels, I continually suffer from the mind virus of 'I never have a enough time to do it all/there are not enough hours in the day' and sure enough time is constantly an issue for me. I never accomplish all my to do's, I am stressed about getting it all done, I am continually late, I am jugggling (like many of you) my career, mommyhood, a social life, personal growth, health/fitness and at the same time aspiring to be more calm, peaceful and live a less frentic life--Yikes! I totally believe in the Laws of Attraction and the more power I give to this lack of time, the more the 'virus' has taken over my life and when I have shifted my thinking to "I have all the time in the world/all the time I need" miraculously I have plenty of time to get it all done, with time to spare!
So what does all this mean? I am sharing my insight in hopes that moms out there will be able to identify the viruses that plague them and that this awareness will be the start of shifting their thinking and possibly getting rid of these nasty little buggers, especially those that hold us back from enjoying our precious moments right now.
See you next week,
Romy, Goddess of the Time Warp
For me, as happy and full my life feels, I continually suffer from the mind virus of 'I never have a enough time to do it all/there are not enough hours in the day' and sure enough time is constantly an issue for me. I never accomplish all my to do's, I am stressed about getting it all done, I am continually late, I am jugggling (like many of you) my career, mommyhood, a social life, personal growth, health/fitness and at the same time aspiring to be more calm, peaceful and live a less frentic life--Yikes! I totally believe in the Laws of Attraction and the more power I give to this lack of time, the more the 'virus' has taken over my life and when I have shifted my thinking to "I have all the time in the world/all the time I need" miraculously I have plenty of time to get it all done, with time to spare!
So what does all this mean? I am sharing my insight in hopes that moms out there will be able to identify the viruses that plague them and that this awareness will be the start of shifting their thinking and possibly getting rid of these nasty little buggers, especially those that hold us back from enjoying our precious moments right now.
See you next week,
Romy, Goddess of the Time Warp
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Momma's Gotta Make Time for Play
Do you feel that you have enough play time in your life? I am not talking about Candy Land or Hungry Hippos!! I am talking about taking time out of almost everyday to do something you really enjoy, something that makes you smile--something to shift your mood, mindset or attitude, something that is fun and has nothing to do with work, errands or carpool. Does this make any sense to you? Maybe you love to paint, scrapbook or do yoga? Or maybe you are a dancing queen? I am talking about taking 10-20 minutes a day to do something that brings out your inner child. I recently read that allowing yourself the freedom to play and take a break in the midst of all of your obligations can really clear your mind, give you renewed energy and give you a fresh perspective on everything. I just love how simple it is! Take a 'mind vacation' in the middle of your busy day and shift everything by just checking out for a few moments.
If you really want proof that this works, just look at your young kids and how happy they are switching from one play activity to the next, constantly immersed in this cycle of recreation, and they become rejuvenated by one playful activity after another. Just think all it takes to recharge your batteries is skipping down the street instead of walking or coloring in your child's coloring book. This 'play' is different for everyone, but whatever it is, it should allow you to escape and think only of that activity for a brief period of time, so when you come back you are renewed and inspired. For me its cooking something new, browsing the beautiful seasonal produce at the local farmers market, hiking, and scrapbooking--I get completely lost in these activities and when I come out of it brings me to entirely new state of mind. What is your 'play'? What do you love to do that might help you get out of a rut now and again? What feeds your soul? I'd love to hear from you!
Wanna come out and play?
Romy, Goddess of the Playground
If you really want proof that this works, just look at your young kids and how happy they are switching from one play activity to the next, constantly immersed in this cycle of recreation, and they become rejuvenated by one playful activity after another. Just think all it takes to recharge your batteries is skipping down the street instead of walking or coloring in your child's coloring book. This 'play' is different for everyone, but whatever it is, it should allow you to escape and think only of that activity for a brief period of time, so when you come back you are renewed and inspired. For me its cooking something new, browsing the beautiful seasonal produce at the local farmers market, hiking, and scrapbooking--I get completely lost in these activities and when I come out of it brings me to entirely new state of mind. What is your 'play'? What do you love to do that might help you get out of a rut now and again? What feeds your soul? I'd love to hear from you!
Wanna come out and play?
Romy, Goddess of the Playground
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Ode to Dory
I want to start off by apologizing for this more somber blog entry, but I think there is a valuable lesson to be learned by sharing my experience. Yesterday, my son's pet fish (his first pet) Dory (yes he named her Dory from Nemo because she was blue) died and it was a sad and insightful day in our household. She had been with us for over two years and while my son did not interact and bond with her daily, he loved the idea of having a pet that he helped take care of and talk to now and again. She held a special place in his life, and he will never forget her. So as parents of a four year old, my husband and I wondered, do we tell him? Is it necessary to upset him? How will he react? Should we just buy another beta fish and replace her, he won't know the difference? But we decided the right choice for us was to tell him that she passed on and that we could do some special things to remember her and help us heal.
Well, my son is very compassionate and when we told him that Dory went to heaven he LOST it. He was balling on his Daddy's shoulder (with a face full of red velvet cupcake btw) and could barely talk about it, it was so sad to see him ache, yet so right. In that moment of his suffering, I thought we made the right decision to begin teaching him about life and appreciating what we have/who have right now. We had a flushing ceremomy where we each said something special about Dory and something we would miss, and then to help him cope further, my boys got a picture of a beta on the net and printed it out with a story that my son wrote to remember Dory (along with storytelling pictures he drew too) and how special she was to him--he displayed it with pride on our fridge. As a result of how we handled this experience, my son started to learn about grieving, how to express his feelings approriately and how important it is to pay attention to the gifts around you--and I think he really 'got it' and really absorbed as much as a four year old mind is capbable of. He was even in such 'mourning' that he didn't feel it was appropriate to go on a family walk last night 'because Dory is dead.'
So why am I sharing all this? I think on the surface I wanted to share a teaching moment that worked for me and might be helpful to others, but I also to share a more subtle insight about staying present with the people (or pets) in your life and appreciating them more fully. I continously go back to the familiar lifestyle of the modern multi-tasking mom whose cup runneth over and who is often caught up in all this clutter that she misses the beauty around her, she misses the people whose gifts and wisdom impact her life and sometimes she doesn't take a moment to appreciate until they are gone. In honor of Dory, why don't you take a moment to connect/reconnect with someone you haven't touched base with in a while and appreciate what they bring to your life before you miss this fleeting chance.
Until next time,
Romy
Goddess of the Sea and 'Seeing'
Well, my son is very compassionate and when we told him that Dory went to heaven he LOST it. He was balling on his Daddy's shoulder (with a face full of red velvet cupcake btw) and could barely talk about it, it was so sad to see him ache, yet so right. In that moment of his suffering, I thought we made the right decision to begin teaching him about life and appreciating what we have/who have right now. We had a flushing ceremomy where we each said something special about Dory and something we would miss, and then to help him cope further, my boys got a picture of a beta on the net and printed it out with a story that my son wrote to remember Dory (along with storytelling pictures he drew too) and how special she was to him--he displayed it with pride on our fridge. As a result of how we handled this experience, my son started to learn about grieving, how to express his feelings approriately and how important it is to pay attention to the gifts around you--and I think he really 'got it' and really absorbed as much as a four year old mind is capbable of. He was even in such 'mourning' that he didn't feel it was appropriate to go on a family walk last night 'because Dory is dead.'
So why am I sharing all this? I think on the surface I wanted to share a teaching moment that worked for me and might be helpful to others, but I also to share a more subtle insight about staying present with the people (or pets) in your life and appreciating them more fully. I continously go back to the familiar lifestyle of the modern multi-tasking mom whose cup runneth over and who is often caught up in all this clutter that she misses the beauty around her, she misses the people whose gifts and wisdom impact her life and sometimes she doesn't take a moment to appreciate until they are gone. In honor of Dory, why don't you take a moment to connect/reconnect with someone you haven't touched base with in a while and appreciate what they bring to your life before you miss this fleeting chance.
Until next time,
Romy
Goddess of the Sea and 'Seeing'
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Moma's Got a 'Case of the Mondays'
OK, I know its Tuesday and I am just getting around to writing my weekly blog (which usually comes out on Monday BTW) hence the title of this blog suggesting that I've got a 'case of the Mondays!' Have you ever heard of this phrase? I just read it somewhere and just LOVED it because it very much captures and conceptualizes how I feel many days, but especially on Mondays when everything starts all over again, my plate is full, I've got a million things to do and feel overwhelmed before I even get started. How great is it that someone (I think its from the movie Office Space) acutally coined a phrase that captures how crappy I feel when I start the week--it ROCKS and just makes me feel better knowing that someone else 'gets it'. I have so much on my plate these days that I often have a hard time prioritzing all my to do's--getting my son ready for school, prepping meals, taking him to school, laundry, groceries, checking e-mail, blogging, marketing and reinventing my old business, and trying to launch my new business--and oh yeah exercise, staying healthy, socializing, connecting with family and friends and trying to look hip and put together-WHEW! I am exhausted just typing that.
So why do I bring this all up and what does it all mean? Well, I just think that today's modern, multi-tasking woman/mom is pulled in multiple directions and unfortunately many things in her life suffer because she is not able to pay enough attention to each individual aspect of her life. She doesn't have the time it takes to put herself together from head to toe, be abreast of all the latest news topics, feel like a sex goddess on a regular basis or really dedicate herself to launching a business or stimulating her children's minds. She just gives a sprinkle of herself to everything, but often not enough time to one thing. I certainly struggle with this and that is why I am writing this blog to normalize this predicament and why I am working on developing tools and resources to address this very issue of loosing your groove/soul. But it is a slow process and its only Tuesday, but next Monday is just around the corner.
Thanks for listening,
Romy, Goddess of Getting Past Monday :0)
So why do I bring this all up and what does it all mean? Well, I just think that today's modern, multi-tasking woman/mom is pulled in multiple directions and unfortunately many things in her life suffer because she is not able to pay enough attention to each individual aspect of her life. She doesn't have the time it takes to put herself together from head to toe, be abreast of all the latest news topics, feel like a sex goddess on a regular basis or really dedicate herself to launching a business or stimulating her children's minds. She just gives a sprinkle of herself to everything, but often not enough time to one thing. I certainly struggle with this and that is why I am writing this blog to normalize this predicament and why I am working on developing tools and resources to address this very issue of loosing your groove/soul. But it is a slow process and its only Tuesday, but next Monday is just around the corner.
Thanks for listening,
Romy, Goddess of Getting Past Monday :0)
Monday, May 5, 2008
Snips & Snails & Puppy Dog Tails
Do you remember going to camp as child? The excitement and simplicity of it all? I remember loving being out in nature, being with my friends, away from Mom and Dad and I truly have some of my fondest memories from my camp days. So this past weekend, we had the wonderful opportunity to go to a beautiful remote camp in Ojai as a family and we had the most magnificent time together. The accomodations were more like Motel 6 than the bunks I remember from my camp days, the food was surprisingly good and the environment was a slice of heaven.
My four year old boy was in all his glory having nature and his posse of friends at his disposal. They got to hang out all day, play and immerse themselves in the beauty of nature. And imagine my surprise, disgust and joy when his favorite task of the weekend became being a master snail collector (EWE!) He was fearless as he went searching through the bushes hunting for snails, and once he spotted his mark he would effortlessly pluck the unsuspecting snail from its place and then bring it to the collection area, probably collecting at least 15-20 snails in total. This ALL BOY endeavor was over seen by an enterprising smart alec older boy who crowned my son King Snail collector!
My first reation to this little adventure was "No don't touch/do that it is yucky and you can get germs" but my second and more thoughtful reaction was, "Hey wait a minute, 'snips & snails' this is exactly what little boys are supposed to do and who am I to interupt this natural right of passage?" The sweetness and beauty of this moment just tickles my soul, because my son was just being a boy and I consciously let him do just that rather than trying to impose my expectations or agenda on him. How many times do we as parents try to derail or redirect our kids to do something we want them to do, rather than letting them do what is natural to them? I will fondly remember this magical weekend as the one where my little boy entered his first right of passage (without my interuption :-), and the one where I took many moments to absorb the beauty all around me just like I did as a camper many moons ago.
Goodbye muddah, goodbye faddah,
Romy, Goddess Moma of the King of Snails
My four year old boy was in all his glory having nature and his posse of friends at his disposal. They got to hang out all day, play and immerse themselves in the beauty of nature. And imagine my surprise, disgust and joy when his favorite task of the weekend became being a master snail collector (EWE!) He was fearless as he went searching through the bushes hunting for snails, and once he spotted his mark he would effortlessly pluck the unsuspecting snail from its place and then bring it to the collection area, probably collecting at least 15-20 snails in total. This ALL BOY endeavor was over seen by an enterprising smart alec older boy who crowned my son King Snail collector!
My first reation to this little adventure was "No don't touch/do that it is yucky and you can get germs" but my second and more thoughtful reaction was, "Hey wait a minute, 'snips & snails' this is exactly what little boys are supposed to do and who am I to interupt this natural right of passage?" The sweetness and beauty of this moment just tickles my soul, because my son was just being a boy and I consciously let him do just that rather than trying to impose my expectations or agenda on him. How many times do we as parents try to derail or redirect our kids to do something we want them to do, rather than letting them do what is natural to them? I will fondly remember this magical weekend as the one where my little boy entered his first right of passage (without my interuption :-), and the one where I took many moments to absorb the beauty all around me just like I did as a camper many moons ago.
Goodbye muddah, goodbye faddah,
Romy, Goddess Moma of the King of Snails
Monday, April 28, 2008
Moma's Got Too Much To Do
Are you one of those women who make daily or weekly 'To Do' lists like me? Do these lists tend to rule your life? And if you don't check off enough things on your to do list, do you feel like you have wasted a day? Depending on what phase of life I am currently in, these lists can sometimes be my saving grace and other times be the bane of my existence. Well, right now these damn lists are bogging me down and making me feel overwhelmed even before I get started.
So today I had at least ten things on my 'List', and it was my precious son's last day of Spring Break. So what's a Moma to do? I should have blown off this ridiculous unimportant list and gone to the beach because it was over 90 degrees in the Valley, it would have been gorgeous at the beach and I would have shared a spectacular day with my little man. So what did I do instead? Spent a couple of AM hours with my favorite companion my PC, did laundry, cleaned up, had a brief meeting with my hubby and by this time it was lunch time (and I was moving at a snails pace btw being in vacation mode and all). We went out for a family lunch which was a nice treat, and then I dragged my patient boy (whom I kept dangling the 'we will go to the park' as a treat at the end of the tunnel) to a kids clothing store because 'I had to return stuff and he NEEDED shorts' and we laughed, giggled and played our usual silly games to make the best of it, but for heaven's sake as I think about it now in retrospect it was ridiculous!
I should have pushed my errands aside and immersed myself into this day and saved the to do's for another. By the time we finally got to the park at 3:30pm, it was blistering hot and we both had very little interest in playing during the highest heat of the day. I realized as we were walking back to the the car after our brief stint at the park that I blew it, I missed the opportunity to really enjoy the day and instead focused on the superfiical and the unimportant. I still WASTED the day even though I did check a few things off the list, but I missed the moment! How many moments have you lost in your life/with your children that you will never get back? So my valuable advice is toss the list and save the mindless errands for another day, and treasure the moments that really matter.
TTFN,
Romy, Goddess of Trying to Absorb the Moment
So today I had at least ten things on my 'List', and it was my precious son's last day of Spring Break. So what's a Moma to do? I should have blown off this ridiculous unimportant list and gone to the beach because it was over 90 degrees in the Valley, it would have been gorgeous at the beach and I would have shared a spectacular day with my little man. So what did I do instead? Spent a couple of AM hours with my favorite companion my PC, did laundry, cleaned up, had a brief meeting with my hubby and by this time it was lunch time (and I was moving at a snails pace btw being in vacation mode and all). We went out for a family lunch which was a nice treat, and then I dragged my patient boy (whom I kept dangling the 'we will go to the park' as a treat at the end of the tunnel) to a kids clothing store because 'I had to return stuff and he NEEDED shorts' and we laughed, giggled and played our usual silly games to make the best of it, but for heaven's sake as I think about it now in retrospect it was ridiculous!
I should have pushed my errands aside and immersed myself into this day and saved the to do's for another. By the time we finally got to the park at 3:30pm, it was blistering hot and we both had very little interest in playing during the highest heat of the day. I realized as we were walking back to the the car after our brief stint at the park that I blew it, I missed the opportunity to really enjoy the day and instead focused on the superfiical and the unimportant. I still WASTED the day even though I did check a few things off the list, but I missed the moment! How many moments have you lost in your life/with your children that you will never get back? So my valuable advice is toss the list and save the mindless errands for another day, and treasure the moments that really matter.
TTFN,
Romy, Goddess of Trying to Absorb the Moment
Friday, April 25, 2008
Moma needs some space
So I had a crazy week--It is spring break, I had family in town from the East coast doing the tourist circut, and it is already Friday and nothing has gotten done! I have a week of things to catch up on, a million to dos, exercise, doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, this blog to write and a four year old who just wants to play and give me hugs and kisses, can anyone relate??? When I finally sat down to write this blog today, my little guy comes into my office to play his Leapster (I Spy Challenger on the highest volume setting btw) and I just want to be left alone, a little peace and quiet time to think, regroup and get back on track. And oh yeah, my hubby who shares an office with me is always in my space too (oh how I love my man) and today his precious computer has returned from the computer hospital and he is nuturing it back to life (huffing and puffing his frustrations throughout the day) so he has not left the office for one moment either--and a girl needs a little breathing room now and again, don't you agree?
I truly adore my boys and our life, but sometimes a mom needs space, alone time in her own castle, nothingness, a little time to herself with no one needing anything from her. Time to breathe, time to just do whatever she wants, whatever the mood strikes her. Sometimes I mourn for my pre-mommy days when my time was my own and I could do whatever I wanted without checking in with anyone else. Those were the days, but that is a far off fantasy, so the question is how do I carve out my own time and space in the middle of this wonderfully rich and chaotic life? I am talking about that recharge the batteries time, clearing the mind and taping into my passion and creativity so I can finally get my new business off the ground and keep myself whole, integrated and focused.
I don't think the answer is anything profound or magical, I think you just need to ASK for space (leave the house boys, don't bother me for ONE hour please, go to the park, take your laptop to Starbucks, honey) and schedule that tabla rasa time/put it in your Blackberry and stick to your appointment no matter what! Don't put it on the back burner, don't wavier, don't cancel your appointment, this is your peace and sanity we are talking about girlfriend. It needs to be a top priority and perhaps something less pressing goes on the back burner becasue these 'space vacations' are what will help you keep your sanity and sustian your joy in mommyhood and wifedom.
I would love to hear your suggestions, tools or tricks you have that help you get a little of your own space every now and then.
That's all for now,
Romy
Goddess of Space Vacations
I truly adore my boys and our life, but sometimes a mom needs space, alone time in her own castle, nothingness, a little time to herself with no one needing anything from her. Time to breathe, time to just do whatever she wants, whatever the mood strikes her. Sometimes I mourn for my pre-mommy days when my time was my own and I could do whatever I wanted without checking in with anyone else. Those were the days, but that is a far off fantasy, so the question is how do I carve out my own time and space in the middle of this wonderfully rich and chaotic life? I am talking about that recharge the batteries time, clearing the mind and taping into my passion and creativity so I can finally get my new business off the ground and keep myself whole, integrated and focused.
I don't think the answer is anything profound or magical, I think you just need to ASK for space (leave the house boys, don't bother me for ONE hour please, go to the park, take your laptop to Starbucks, honey) and schedule that tabla rasa time/put it in your Blackberry and stick to your appointment no matter what! Don't put it on the back burner, don't wavier, don't cancel your appointment, this is your peace and sanity we are talking about girlfriend. It needs to be a top priority and perhaps something less pressing goes on the back burner becasue these 'space vacations' are what will help you keep your sanity and sustian your joy in mommyhood and wifedom.
I would love to hear your suggestions, tools or tricks you have that help you get a little of your own space every now and then.
That's all for now,
Romy
Goddess of Space Vacations
Monday, April 14, 2008
Hey Moma, Just "Let It Be". . .
So I had my annual physical today (I'm a healthy 40 year old woman btw), and my holistically inclined MD was talking to me about effective ways to deal with emotional stress. He discussed the benefits of slowing down, being in the moment and trying to adopt the philosophy of one of the hottest authors right now Eckhart Tolle, who believes in not resisting lifes challenges and trying to shift gears and appreciate and allow whatever comes your way (good or bad) to just be what it is. OK, this may sound easy in theory, but this whole 'being' philosophy is impossible when you've got a work to do, errands to run, dinner to make, baths to give etc. When the heck do I have the time just "to be"? Usually, my quiet time is at 11pm at night when I am dead tired and just want to zone out to the latest reality junk show rather than trying to meditate or quiet my mind (which I promise myself I would like to do regularly but rarely get around to it) because you're probably thinking what I am thinking, if I medidtate I will probably fall asleep, which of course totally defeats the purpose of meditating!
But then I realized something beautiful and amazing--My passionate zest for life 4 year old son embodies this "being" philosophy every moment of his life. He is not burdened by the to dos, the time constraints or schedules that rule my life, or the adult stresses or worries that I carry around on my shoulders. He simply immerses himself in every single moment of life and notices EVERYTHING, like the beautiful blooming rose that he stops to smell or the tree he wants to climb when we have an appointment to be at or the full moon in the night sky when its time to get ready for bed. He is there, he is present, he misses nothing and enjoys everthing. What an amazing beautiful example of 'just BEING' I have in my son, I want to be just like him when I grow up.
Until the next time,
Romy, Goddess in the Moment
But then I realized something beautiful and amazing--My passionate zest for life 4 year old son embodies this "being" philosophy every moment of his life. He is not burdened by the to dos, the time constraints or schedules that rule my life, or the adult stresses or worries that I carry around on my shoulders. He simply immerses himself in every single moment of life and notices EVERYTHING, like the beautiful blooming rose that he stops to smell or the tree he wants to climb when we have an appointment to be at or the full moon in the night sky when its time to get ready for bed. He is there, he is present, he misses nothing and enjoys everthing. What an amazing beautiful example of 'just BEING' I have in my son, I want to be just like him when I grow up.
Until the next time,
Romy, Goddess in the Moment
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Mommy's in a BAD Mood
I am sure many of you can relate to this--I did not get enough sleep last night once again (oh how I relish those late night hours of quiet where I can relax and get things done uninterupted), I am PMSing and I haven't exercised in a week and I just feel like CRAP. However, my perky little guy doesn't care, he wakes up well rested, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, singing, laughing, loving and having a good old time--and he wants to play and interact, but I don't feel like it! I want to crawl back into bed, sleep for four more hours and be left alone, and for obvious reasons I can't.
So what do you do? How do you shift gears and be in the moment and let all that bad mood stuff go? Well venting in this blog definitely helps and I am off to the gym after that. I think you definitely have to use humor to cope as well as knowing that time is fleeting and you don't want to miss these precious moments before they escape you. Maybe try and see yourself through the eyes of a child and imagine what it might feel like if someone tried to diffuse your happiness, that would be kinda yucky. Or maybe take a timeout yourself, meditate, drink a relaxing cup of tea, or call a friend. Do whatever it takes to let go and BE in the moment, and of course count the moments until nightfall when you can once again stay up late and have quiet time to yourself :-)
Sweet Dreams,
Romy, Goddess of Being in a Yucky Mood (and being OK with that)
So what do you do? How do you shift gears and be in the moment and let all that bad mood stuff go? Well venting in this blog definitely helps and I am off to the gym after that. I think you definitely have to use humor to cope as well as knowing that time is fleeting and you don't want to miss these precious moments before they escape you. Maybe try and see yourself through the eyes of a child and imagine what it might feel like if someone tried to diffuse your happiness, that would be kinda yucky. Or maybe take a timeout yourself, meditate, drink a relaxing cup of tea, or call a friend. Do whatever it takes to let go and BE in the moment, and of course count the moments until nightfall when you can once again stay up late and have quiet time to yourself :-)
Sweet Dreams,
Romy, Goddess of Being in a Yucky Mood (and being OK with that)
Monday, March 31, 2008
Momma's still got her brains + creativity too!
I just read an interesting and relatable article about the much touted concept that after you have kids you lose your ability to focus, remember things etc-I have heard it referred to as 'mommy brain' and many feel that along with giving birth all the blood that nourishes the brain goes out the birth canal never to return (OK some even say that you lose your mind). Well, I have to admit at times I certainly feel this is true, not for the blood loss reason, but more so because I have more things on my plate/more responsiblities than I did before and probably most significantly because I DON'T GET ENOUGH SLEEP!
With that said, the article did a nice job of reminding and reframing for me that contrary to popular belief, having kids gives you purpose and motivation to actualize your goals and dreams. For me, I realized that because I have a constantly happy, exhuberant, passionate child who sees a world filled with possibility and magic, he constantly reminds me to embrace and enjoy everyday, every moment to the fullest. Basically, I am saying that having a child inspires and reignites creativity, rather than squashing it and I think I need to use this momentum and energy to move forward instead of using it as an excuse to hold me back. It's just a matter of how you look at it, and today I was reminded that the starry-eyed wonder of a child's mind is my gift and motivation to go for it and enjoy the ride!
I hope this idea helps you shift your perspective on motherhood and embrace the magic in your own mind.
Warmly,
Romy
Goddess of Spring Awakening
With that said, the article did a nice job of reminding and reframing for me that contrary to popular belief, having kids gives you purpose and motivation to actualize your goals and dreams. For me, I realized that because I have a constantly happy, exhuberant, passionate child who sees a world filled with possibility and magic, he constantly reminds me to embrace and enjoy everyday, every moment to the fullest. Basically, I am saying that having a child inspires and reignites creativity, rather than squashing it and I think I need to use this momentum and energy to move forward instead of using it as an excuse to hold me back. It's just a matter of how you look at it, and today I was reminded that the starry-eyed wonder of a child's mind is my gift and motivation to go for it and enjoy the ride!
I hope this idea helps you shift your perspective on motherhood and embrace the magic in your own mind.
Warmly,
Romy
Goddess of Spring Awakening
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
This Mom's Trying to Find Her Creative Soul
I am so lucky to have to have such a compassionate and hands on hubby, who encourages and supports all that I do--even the crazy indulgent and wacky things. My hubby (I call him Hubbs) is so on board with this whole groove thing and I love it. He gets that I need my time and space to nuture myself, my creativity and my passion and these things take time. When you have kids (I have only one four year old), they are a top priority and demand your immediate time and attention and because of that, your own needs get put on the back burner and the more kids you have the more your own needs get stuffed down.
This idea about losing your mojo on some level after having kids has been playing around in my mind for the last four years. Because I was a sex therapist in a former life, for years friends and colleagues have always mentioned this challenge to me in one way or another and asked for advice or input--and these converstaions in conjunction with my own struggles (basically I feel that my creativity and inspiration have been slowly diminishing over the last 4 years) lead me to this idea of creating something to address these issues--a workshop, book or online resource--to help women stay passionate, sexy, creative and alive after having kids.
So this blog is being 'born' at the same time I am designing this workshop and trying to get it off the ground, and in this free forum I plan to share ideas, thoughts, exercises, and get reactions and desires from mothers who are trying to recharge their creative batteries and are looking for a resource to help them do it. I plan on offering insights, tips, resources and useful information that will change the lives of mothers everywhere and make them feel like a goddess again.
Stay tuned for more,
xo Romy
Goddess of Trying to Find Her Creative Soul (Again)
This idea about losing your mojo on some level after having kids has been playing around in my mind for the last four years. Because I was a sex therapist in a former life, for years friends and colleagues have always mentioned this challenge to me in one way or another and asked for advice or input--and these converstaions in conjunction with my own struggles (basically I feel that my creativity and inspiration have been slowly diminishing over the last 4 years) lead me to this idea of creating something to address these issues--a workshop, book or online resource--to help women stay passionate, sexy, creative and alive after having kids.
So this blog is being 'born' at the same time I am designing this workshop and trying to get it off the ground, and in this free forum I plan to share ideas, thoughts, exercises, and get reactions and desires from mothers who are trying to recharge their creative batteries and are looking for a resource to help them do it. I plan on offering insights, tips, resources and useful information that will change the lives of mothers everywhere and make them feel like a goddess again.
Stay tuned for more,
xo Romy
Goddess of Trying to Find Her Creative Soul (Again)
Monday, March 24, 2008
Momma's Getting Her Groove Back.....
This is the first posting of the Momma's Groove site. My wife Romy's got Groove, and all her friends and all of our family know it. They all ask how she does it and what is going on in her mind. Here - she will tell you......
The thought here is that once you (Mom's) get married, have a kid, and get "trapped" in the world of playdates, errands, chores, blah blah blah - you lose yourself, you lose your identity, and simply put, you lose your Groove.
We (the husbands) love that you care for our offspring (or help us care for them). We love that you are great Mom's. We love that you do all the stuff around the house and schedule our plans and social lives. We still, with all that said, want you to have your own things and get your Groove Back. When we first met you, you were busy doing your thing (whatever that might have been). You had your circle of friends (hopefully still do) and had your interests and hobbies, some of which I admit, we still to this day don't understand. On a tangent, please just put the pictures of my kid in a photo album, without having to go away for a weekend to Scrapbook Camp to "create art" for the pictures. Sorry, back now. Ok....
The idea here is that Romy is going to help you, help yourself and your family. That's right, I the husband, and talking about how by you finding your Groove, you will be actually helping your family. The idea is very simple - a happy Mom = a happy family. We the husbands want happy, involved, mentally stimulated wives. This, while day one seems a little counter-intuative actually benefits the entire family. This post will help you, the Mom's, and ultimately feed down to the Dad's..
Stay Tuned - Romy will start soon.......... In the meantime, tell us your concerns, how you lost your groove, where it went, how we can help.......
Gotta run, the laundry buzzer just sounded........See you at pickup.
The thought here is that once you (Mom's) get married, have a kid, and get "trapped" in the world of playdates, errands, chores, blah blah blah - you lose yourself, you lose your identity, and simply put, you lose your Groove.
We (the husbands) love that you care for our offspring (or help us care for them). We love that you are great Mom's. We love that you do all the stuff around the house and schedule our plans and social lives. We still, with all that said, want you to have your own things and get your Groove Back. When we first met you, you were busy doing your thing (whatever that might have been). You had your circle of friends (hopefully still do) and had your interests and hobbies, some of which I admit, we still to this day don't understand. On a tangent, please just put the pictures of my kid in a photo album, without having to go away for a weekend to Scrapbook Camp to "create art" for the pictures. Sorry, back now. Ok....
The idea here is that Romy is going to help you, help yourself and your family. That's right, I the husband, and talking about how by you finding your Groove, you will be actually helping your family. The idea is very simple - a happy Mom = a happy family. We the husbands want happy, involved, mentally stimulated wives. This, while day one seems a little counter-intuative actually benefits the entire family. This post will help you, the Mom's, and ultimately feed down to the Dad's..
Stay Tuned - Romy will start soon.......... In the meantime, tell us your concerns, how you lost your groove, where it went, how we can help.......
Gotta run, the laundry buzzer just sounded........See you at pickup.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)