Moma's Got Too Much To Do

Are you one of those women who make daily or weekly 'To Do' lists like me? Do these lists tend to rule your life? And if you don't check off enough things on your to do list, do you feel like you have wasted a day? Depending on what phase of life I am currently in, these lists can sometimes be my saving grace and other times be the bane of my existence. Well, right now these damn lists are bogging me down and making me feel overwhelmed even before I get started.

So today I had at least ten things on my 'List', and it was my precious son's last day of Spring Break. So what's a Moma to do? I should have blown off this ridiculous unimportant list and gone to the beach because it was over 90 degrees in the Valley, it would have been gorgeous at the beach and I would have shared a spectacular day with my little man. So what did I do instead? Spent a couple of AM hours with my favorite companion my PC, did laundry, cleaned up, had a brief meeting with my hubby and by this time it was lunch time (and I was moving at a snails pace btw being in vacation mode and all). We went out for a family lunch which was a nice treat, and then I dragged my patient boy (whom I kept dangling the 'we will go to the park' as a treat at the end of the tunnel) to a kids clothing store because 'I had to return stuff and he NEEDED shorts' and we laughed, giggled and played our usual silly games to make the best of it, but for heaven's sake as I think about it now in retrospect it was ridiculous!

I should have pushed my errands aside and immersed myself into this day and saved the to do's for another. By the time we finally got to the park at 3:30pm, it was blistering hot and we both had very little interest in playing during the highest heat of the day. I realized as we were walking back to the the car after our brief stint at the park that I blew it, I missed the opportunity to really enjoy the day and instead focused on the superfiical and the unimportant. I still WASTED the day even though I did check a few things off the list, but I missed the moment! How many moments have you lost in your life/with your children that you will never get back? So my valuable advice is toss the list and save the mindless errands for another day, and treasure the moments that really matter.


TTFN,
Romy, Goddess of Trying to Absorb the Moment

Moma needs some space

So I had a crazy week--It is spring break, I had family in town from the East coast doing the tourist circut, and it is already Friday and nothing has gotten done! I have a week of things to catch up on, a million to dos, exercise, doctor's appointments, grocery shopping, this blog to write and a four year old who just wants to play and give me hugs and kisses, can anyone relate??? When I finally sat down to write this blog today, my little guy comes into my office to play his Leapster (I Spy Challenger on the highest volume setting btw) and I just want to be left alone, a little peace and quiet time to think, regroup and get back on track. And oh yeah, my hubby who shares an office with me is always in my space too (oh how I love my man) and today his precious computer has returned from the computer hospital and he is nuturing it back to life (huffing and puffing his frustrations throughout the day) so he has not left the office for one moment either--and a girl needs a little breathing room now and again, don't you agree?


I truly adore my boys and our life, but sometimes a mom needs space, alone time in her own castle, nothingness, a little time to herself with no one needing anything from her. Time to breathe, time to just do whatever she wants, whatever the mood strikes her. Sometimes I mourn for my pre-mommy days when my time was my own and I could do whatever I wanted without checking in with anyone else. Those were the days, but that is a far off fantasy, so the question is how do I carve out my own time and space in the middle of this wonderfully rich and chaotic life? I am talking about that recharge the batteries time, clearing the mind and taping into my passion and creativity so I can finally get my new business off the ground and keep myself whole, integrated and focused.


I don't think the answer is anything profound or magical, I think you just need to ASK for space (leave the house boys, don't bother me for ONE hour please, go to the park, take your laptop to Starbucks, honey) and schedule that tabla rasa time/put it in your Blackberry and stick to your appointment no matter what! Don't put it on the back burner, don't wavier, don't cancel your appointment, this is your peace and sanity we are talking about girlfriend. It needs to be a top priority and perhaps something less pressing goes on the back burner becasue these 'space vacations' are what will help you keep your sanity and sustian your joy in mommyhood and wifedom.



I would love to hear your suggestions, tools or tricks you have that help you get a little of your own space every now and then.



That's all for now,

Romy
Goddess of Space Vacations

Hey Moma, Just "Let It Be". . .

So I had my annual physical today (I'm a healthy 40 year old woman btw), and my holistically inclined MD was talking to me about effective ways to deal with emotional stress. He discussed the benefits of slowing down, being in the moment and trying to adopt the philosophy of one of the hottest authors right now Eckhart Tolle, who believes in not resisting lifes challenges and trying to shift gears and appreciate and allow whatever comes your way (good or bad) to just be what it is. OK, this may sound easy in theory, but this whole 'being' philosophy is impossible when you've got a work to do, errands to run, dinner to make, baths to give etc. When the heck do I have the time just "to be"? Usually, my quiet time is at 11pm at night when I am dead tired and just want to zone out to the latest reality junk show rather than trying to meditate or quiet my mind (which I promise myself I would like to do regularly but rarely get around to it) because you're probably thinking what I am thinking, if I medidtate I will probably fall asleep, which of course totally defeats the purpose of meditating!


But then I realized something beautiful and amazing--My passionate zest for life 4 year old son embodies this "being" philosophy every moment of his life. He is not burdened by the to dos, the time constraints or schedules that rule my life, or the adult stresses or worries that I carry around on my shoulders. He simply immerses himself in every single moment of life and notices EVERYTHING, like the beautiful blooming rose that he stops to smell or the tree he wants to climb when we have an appointment to be at or the full moon in the night sky when its time to get ready for bed. He is there, he is present, he misses nothing and enjoys everthing. What an amazing beautiful example of 'just BEING' I have in my son, I want to be just like him when I grow up.



Until the next time,
Romy, Goddess in the Moment

Mommy's in a BAD Mood

I am sure many of you can relate to this--I did not get enough sleep last night once again (oh how I relish those late night hours of quiet where I can relax and get things done uninterupted), I am PMSing and I haven't exercised in a week and I just feel like CRAP. However, my perky little guy doesn't care, he wakes up well rested, bright-eyed and bushy tailed, singing, laughing, loving and having a good old time--and he wants to play and interact, but I don't feel like it! I want to crawl back into bed, sleep for four more hours and be left alone, and for obvious reasons I can't.

So what do you do? How do you shift gears and be in the moment and let all that bad mood stuff go? Well venting in this blog definitely helps and I am off to the gym after that. I think you definitely have to use humor to cope as well as knowing that time is fleeting and you don't want to miss these precious moments before they escape you. Maybe try and see yourself through the eyes of a child and imagine what it might feel like if someone tried to diffuse your happiness, that would be kinda yucky. Or maybe take a timeout yourself, meditate, drink a relaxing cup of tea, or call a friend. Do whatever it takes to let go and BE in the moment, and of course count the moments until nightfall when you can once again stay up late and have quiet time to yourself :-)

Sweet Dreams,
Romy, Goddess of Being in a Yucky Mood (and being OK with that)